Home. It's sanctuary. It's your sacred space. The nest into which you pour your pregnant energy. That which you entrust with the safety and warmth of sheltering your new baby. A home is more than a house. It is an emotional place, an energy, a blanket of familiarity and comfort in which you wrap your family. That which receives your newborn child in a bonding cacoon for those first days, weeks, months of life and a testing ground for the exploration of your child's independence. The four walls are the tether from mom, the boundaries of security. Babyproofing is more than buying outlet covers. It is transitioning your home from a couple's palace to a family's haven. Today I invite you to walk with me through your home as I guide you through the process of creating a family-integrated household. We'll start with safety and move into creating a baby-friendly environment.
Let's start with the most important part: safety. There are two main angles for attacking the babyproofing aspect of creating a family-integrated home. The first is role-playing. Lay on your living room floor just as you will lay down your baby. How does it feel? Are you staring right into a light bulb? Lay your face right on the floor. How does it look? Is your floor dirtier than you thought? Harder than you suspected? Now crawl around your entire house, every nook and cranny, one room at a time. Bump your head on all eye-level furniture. Is that corner of the coffee table sharper than you ever realized? Try to push and pull yourself up on everything you can reach. Is that decorative vase on the floor more of a hazard than a decorative asset? Put your fingers and head in everything you can. Think outlets, stair rails, doggy doors, electronics, etc.
Try to climb everything you see. Bookshelves are now teetering towers, right? The point of this exercise is to bring to light all of the things in your house that are not baby-friendly. Some of these things will need to be changed completely (no more 50 pound glass vase on the floor). Some of these things will need to be modified (add a rug to the living room floor and a furniture tether to the bookshelf). And some of these things you just need to be aware of. For example, I have an extra large doggy door leading out to the backyard in my dining room. There is nothing in the dining room for my baby. If he starts crawling in that direction, I immediately intercept and redirect him toward activities in the other rooms. You must really put yourself in your baby's shoes to keep them safe and happy. You must look at things from their perspective and make changes accordingly.
The second angle for babyproofing is to simply peruse the safety section of Babies R Us.com. If they make a safety product, it is because there was a need for it. Not that you have to buy every safety product they offer, but this exercise points out potential hazards that you may not of thought about. For example, I have a friend whose one-year-old daughter recently had an unfortunate run-in with the brick hearth that required cranial staples. She did not even know there was such a thing as a hearth bumper. I have another friend who found her baby, hand in toilet. Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet lid latch. It is important to understand that baby is going to get hurt but you want to create a "yes" environment.
A baby-friendly house is one in which the answer is usually yes. You want baby to feel like this is their home too. And if you are constantly running around after them saying "no," you are both going to be miserable. The safer the environment, the less direct supervision is required. Let's face it, we can't be looking at them 24 hours a day. Sometimes we have to cook dinner and if they are engrossed in a pile of blocks it would be nice to be able to share glances between the stove and baby. If your house is babyproof, you can relax and trust that when you need to avert the eye contact, baby is in their cocoon of safety, you are home.
The final thought on safety in your home is to know your baby. This is your most powerful tool in keeping baby safe. My kids are not climbers so I don't really have to worry so much about climbing. This means that while a couple toy bookshelves that are particularly tall and top heavy are wall-tethered, every piece of furniture is not. My kids are just not that in to climbing. But my kids LOVE pretend play. This means they love to pretend to be me. If they see me plug something in, they want to do it.
If they see me cutting lunch with a knife, they want to do it. If they see me taking medicine, they want to take it. So I have to be particularly cognizant of what I do in their line of sight and keep all "grown up tools" under strict safety lock and key. ALL of my outlets are not only covered but covered with twist locking plates so even when something is plugged in, if they pull it out the holes twist lock shut. All of my "sharp" drawers and medicine cupboards have kid locks. As you get to know your child in each of their emerging developmental phases, keep their personalities in mind when brainstorming safety.
Now the fun stuff, creating a family-integrated environment. As with all parenting, you have to balance your needs with that of your baby's. I love HGTV but baby shouldn't feel like this is your house and they're just living in it. Creating a family-integrated home means the space is friendly to both parents and children. With a little effort you can create a home that gives baby all the benefits you want for her while providing you with the stylish and relaxing space you desire. A huge part of being a good parent is setting your child up for success. And your greatest tool is to know your child. You want to create the environment that best suites the needs and personality of your child. If your child is easily overstimulated (as is my Skyler) use relaxing paint colors, keep all the colors and patterns in the room similar, use closed toy storage, classical music, soft textures, and natural lighting.
If your child is easily bored, use vibrant colors, contrasting colors and patterns, sing-along songs, varying textures, and lots of open and accessible toys and activities. Environment can affect mood BIG TIME. Children are particularly sensitive to their environment as the process of learning self-regulation is a life-long task. Patterns and color contrasts are stimulating while solids and similar colors are relaxing. Reds and oranges are stimulating while blues and greens are relaxing. Consider carefully the color choices you make in bedrooms as yellow mimics the sun and blue mimics night. If you paint your baby's room yellow, it will be harder for him to fall asleep and easier for him to wake up. When designing a space with baby in mind you must consider the sights, sounds, smells and feel of the environment.
A baby-friendly environment encourages activities that promote baby's growth. Look around your house. Is it brimming with opportunity for developmental growth? Interpret this broadly. It should contain relaxing spaces for rest, stimulating spaces for play, soft large furniture for climbing, furniture for stabilizing while learning to walk, a rocking chair for cuddling, etc. Frame their artwork. This creates a stylish look while boosting their self-esteem. Laminate artwork at a child's eye-level. I can't tell you how many cute animal paintings and such I see in nurseries 6 feet up the wall. Babies get no benefit from this. If you laminate them and put them at baby's eye-level then baby can see and interact with the artwork you have selected for them. Use stylish and uniform toy storage to give everyone the benefits of a calm, stylish, and well organized space.
Toys, toys, toys. The toy monster is one that can overtake your house, life, and sanity, not to mention overwhelm your little one. When your environment is chaotic, so is your internal state of being. Toys can be a great parenting tool. They can provide stimulation for your children in all the right ways, encouraging developmental growth, provide activities for interaction, and occupy their attention so you can don't have to be the dancing monkey every minute of every day. But their potential must be harnessed. Here is everything you need to know about toy:
Rotate toys: To understand the value of this method you must first understand habituation. When something is in the same place for a long period of time you no longer see it. It's like, that hideous wallpaper in that apartment you rented- after a few months you didn't even notice it anymore. But each houseguest just had to remark, "Wow, that wallpaper just about knocks you over, doesn't it." And you reply, "We're used to it now." This is habituation. Toys that are left in the same place for a long period of time (long being relative to a person who has only been alive for a few months or years) become wallpaper. When you rotate your toys, they become brand new with each rotation. The first step in harnessing the power of rotation is to have toys in a few places: downstairs living area, child's bedroom, and storage closet, for example. Now about every month, completely rotate out all of the toys. Take the toys from storage closet and rotate them in. Move some toys from the living room to the bedroom and vice versa. The idea is to create a brand new play landscape for your little explorer.
Zone of Proximal Development: Your child's toys should reflect their zone of proximal development. This means that on your bookshelf of toys, there should be 3 categories of toys: those that are easily mastered by your child, those that are an active challenge but can be accomplished on their own with some effort, and those that are within their reach but they need help to master. All 3 categories should be present in your child's toy world. This will provide them with confidence (the toys that are easily mastered), appropriate stimulation and challenge, and motivation for further growth.
Centers: Preschools have been on this concept for a while now and the reason they use it is because it is good for the child and it works. Children play best when their play world is organized according the aspect of brain development the play taps into. For example, one shelf on the bookshelf can be for puzzle-type toys while a toy chest at the foot of the bed can be for pretend play, containing all of the dress up costumes and pretend food. A fine motor center of art supplies is great next to their little table in the living room. Simply put, this is organization. But it can go a long way in helping to organize your child and help along play.
Sorting: Your toy storage must be set up in such a way that your child can clean up. If each toy is put away in its original packaging and filed on the top shelf you are not only making your job more difficult (even if your wanted to clean up, which most do, they could not) but you are denying your child the opportunity to develop growth in all the ways cleaning up provides. Cleaning up is a great left-brain growth activity because children must sort. All "guys" go in this box. All blocks go in that box. And of course, when you include your child in cleaning up you are sending the message that they are an integral part of your family system; they have an important and valuable role. But to send this message, toys must be stored in such a way that the child can clean up. I use open-top fabric-covered boxes on the bottom two shelves of the bookshelf in our living room and their bedrooms. When they want to play they pull out the box. When it's time to clean up we toss everything back in the box and I put it back on the shelf. Each activity is contained and easily cleaned up.
Uniform: As we discussed early, contrasting visual colors and patterns can be overstimulating. All of those visible toys and packaging with their loud patterns and colors can be stressful. Consider using toy storage that is uniform. Those open-top fabric-covered boxes I mentioned above, they are all blue (toys that are most appropriate for my 4-year-old) or green (toys that are most appropriate for my 1-year-old). This way, when you look at the toy areas they are not visually overwhelming or stressful. Not to mention, it makes living spaces seem like child-integrated homes and not toy stores.
Labels: Consider labeling your toys with a photo and word. If each activity is stored in a box, simply put a photo of what's inside along with the word on the front. Not only does this make organization easier (again, you want your child to be able to clean up) but it teaches children pre-reading. They learn what the word "cars" looks like and before long recognize the word even without the picture. This is pre-reading.
Clean Up: By 1 they can clean up with you. The value and importance of cleaning up was discussed earlier but I want to emphasize that cleaning up should be fun. If you approach it with distain, like a chore, then your child will do the same. Try singing a clean-up song, give lots of attention during clean up time (eye contact, physical touch, undivided attention), have fun! We literally toss each "guy" back into the box. It's like basketball. We "zoom" each car into the box while it lies sideways. As your child gets older you can set a timer and see who can pick up the most toys in 30 seconds. When your child is a baby it is much easier to clean up the toys yourself. Involving your 12-month-old takes much longer and much more effort. But if you invest the time and energy now, they will be cleaning up on their own down the road.
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